Secret Heart Read online

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  Edwin regained consciousness to the feeling of warm arms around him and the sound of a gentle snore. Uncertainty froze him into place for a moment, then he remembered the crash.

  And the kiss.

  Edwin smiled. The arms around him wore Simeon's elegant dove gray suit, smudged and torn, but still Simeon's. Good.

  He tried to move, felt a sharp stabbing pain in his chest, coupled with a moist gurgling as he breathed. Had he injured a rib in the crash? Perhaps. He'd count himself lucky if he'd gotten away from the wreck with only a broken rib or two.

  Sitting up against a tree being held by the man he was probably in love with didn't do much to get them out of this unpleasant situation. He needed to know more information. Where were they? Could they find water? What about something to eat? How would they survive? He pried himself loose from Simeon's arms with regret.

  Simeon moaned in his sleep and his hands flexed.

  "Poor fellow," Edwin murmured. "Anyone would have a nightmare after a night like we've had."

  He stood, moving away from Simeon and his bad dream. But he couldn't focus on his surroundings with Simeon in such a way. The dream worsened, making the man groan and twitch, rendered feeble by the bonds of sleep. He knelt down, took hold of Simeon's shoulder.

  "Wake up, Kerrigan. You're dreaming."

  He'd never tell anyone, on pain of death, that Sir Simeon Kerrigan whimpered in his sleep at the touch on his shoulder. But it was... well, rather adorable, especially when the man moved to press his cheek against Edwin's hand and arm.

  "Come on, wake up."

  Kerrigan tensed all over. His eyes opened, wary at first, then filled with startled recognition and... relief? "You're alive!"

  Edwin smiled. "Of course I'm alive."

  A brief flare of emotion, then Kerrigan brushed off his hand and stood, straightening his battered garments. "Right, then. This is a sticky situation we've landed in. We'd best come up with a plan for getting out of it."

  "Just like that?"

  "Yes." Kerrigan brushed some twigs from his hair, took off his spectacles. His eyebrows rose when he found them undamaged, merely dirty. He shrugged and wiped them off.

  Edwin watched him move stiffly, looking at anything other than Edwin, nearly vibrating with tension. He reached out and took hold of Kerrigan's forearm as he settled the lenses back on his nose.

  "No."

  "What do you mean, no?"

  Edwin caught and held his dark eyes. His ribs jabbed at him when Kerrigan tugged halfheartedly, not really trying to break Edwin's grip. "I mean no. Kerrigan—Simeon—I'm not letting you get away with ignoring what happened."

  Simeon flinched and looked away. "The Midnight Aurora crashed, leaving us stranded God only knows where. There's no ignoring of that."

  "That's not what I mean, and you know it." Edwin grinned, feeling a sudden recklessness sweep over him. "You never asked why I transferred into Oxford mid-year."

  Simeon frowned, perplexed. "What? Why should I have? You showed up in my Philosophy class, that was enough."

  Edwin moved a step closer, tightening his hold on Simeon's arm when he tried to move back. "Simeon, I got caught kissing someone I shouldn't have."

  Simeon's eyes widened, and his breath caught. "You mean—"

  Edwin nodded. "Yes. But last night was better."

  The struggle on Simeon's face would have been hilarious, if not for the serious potential for disaster the moment held. If the man retreated into proper Victorian manners and mores...

  But he didn't. Instead, he let out a strangled gasping sound and lurched forward, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Edwin and clinging tight. Edwin smothered a gasp at the pain, shifted so Simeon's arm avoided the damaged rib.

  "I thought you were dead. Dead! With never a chance for me to confess this indecent attraction."

  Edwin shivered. "Please don't say that, Simeon."

  Simeon broke away, so quickly the awkward embrace might never have happened. "I meant nothing by that, chalk it up to—"

  "Simeon. Please. I need you to stop talking before you say something we'll both regret."

  Simeon started to speak, chopped off the words, clamped his mouth shut. Edwin wondered if he was the only person who ever interrupted the overly-wealthy lord. Probably.

  "Listen to me," he said, nerves trembling and twitching, not daring to think too closely about what words he chose. Over-thinking could destroy him now. "There's nothing indecent about caring."

  Simeon looked away. "If not, then why are such things condemned by the entire world?"

  "Not the entire world." Despite the nerves, a quick grin flashed across Edwin's face. "Just ask the French."

  "Bunch of immoral layabouts," Simeon muttered, but snuck a look at Edwin.

  "Tell that to—" He stopped short before saying Claude's name, remembering the hole blown through the skyship. No more Claude. He cleared his throat. "Never mind. Why'd you kiss me, if you think it's so wrong?"

  Simeon launched into motion. He strode from under the tree that had caught and sheltered them, then tripped over a root and cursed, nearly crashing into another tree.

  "Blast this forest!"

  "By damn, Simeon, even the trees want to keep you here with me. Face it, you can't get away from what happened. Nor should you want to. Can't you just admit it? Say that you feel the same as I do?"

  Simeon closed in on him so suddenly Edwin nearly flinched away. His eyes burned with emotion unchained. "Damn you, don't you see? I kissed you because it was the end! It didn't matter anymore! We were doing to die, damn it, and nobody was around to condemn either one of us for—for—"

  Edwin forgot to think. He took hold of Simeon, dragged him into a close embrace, completely ignored the fire burning in his side, and prevented any more words with a kiss. And this time, no flaming skyship or explosion distracted either of them from the sheer pleasure of the moment. Simeon's hands clutched at him, held him closer. Edwin could feel both of them trembling, like willows in a breeze, shaken by the emotional intensity. He'd never felt such... what? Oh, what did it matter, anyway? He let thought go and enjoyed the kiss.

  "Simeon," Edwin whispered, what felt like a lifetime later. He cupped his hands around Simeon's face, taking full advantage of the opportunity to touch while it lasted. The conflict raging in those dark eyes promised trouble in the future. "I think I've fallen in love with you. Please say you can try to... to give me a chance."

  "A chance to what?" Simeon asked, voice dull and flat. "Be condemned by society? Live in fear? Endure the taunts, the ostracism, the shunning? You deserve better than that, Edwin."

  They kissed again, and Edwin drew hope from the fact that Simeon still held him. Simeon could say whatever he wanted, as long as he kept on kissing Edwin.

  "It doesn't have to be that way," Edwin said, breathless, when he ended the kiss. "You know that. We're together often enough already, people expect us to show up together. You know that. And look where we are now. We've survived a horrible ordeal together. That gives us every reason to seek out each other's company. It's expected. Tragedy brings people closer together. It wouldn't even raise eyebrows if I moved in with you."

  Simeon's eyes widened, and his hands, formerly soft and caressing, clutched at Edwin. "Tragedy... Edwin, dear God, they're all dead!"

  The devastated remains of the Aurora flashed through Edwin's mind. He nodded, not trusting his voice to speak.

  "And here we are, canoodling like courting teenagers... No. I won't have it, I tell you. It's disrespectful."

  But he didn't step away. Edwin held him closer. He'd heard the unshed tears in Simeon's voice.

  "It'll get better, Simeon. You'll see. We'll find a way out of this, and we'll mourn our dead, and we'll move on. Together. Because we belong together."

  Simeon laid his head against Edwin's shoulder, a rather awkward movement since they stood very close in height. "Maybe you're right, Ed. Maybe. Is it worth the risk?"

&
nbsp; "Of course. You're worth any risk."

  They held each other in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Then Simeon did break free of Edwin's hold, with a brief smile of regret. "Enough of this emotional nonsense, Ed. Let's see about getting home again."

  "Together?"

  The smile returned, and this time it lit his eyes with a glorious brilliance that Edwin could easily drown in. "Of course, together. I wouldn't want to live any other way."

  Edwin's mouth fell open from the pure shock of hearing those words. "You—you—but—damn!"

  Simeon laughed at him. Then, together, they began seeking a way out of the mountains they'd crashed in and all the way back home.

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  Other titles from Marie Brown:

  Eternal

  The Hidden Game

  With Honor

  When Gods Walk

  and many more

  Visit the author online at

  the Evil Kitten Project